A decision..

Well..yes... I am back to the bad world of blogging after a long void... "Void" a nice word to use at any place, be it programming, a situation.. your life... use it adjectively.. use it compositely.. or use it verbally.,,never to miss it literally... ... it will always stand to its ground... not as miraculous as the "F.." Word...(I have seen a youtube video which illustrates the beautiful use of "The word" in different situations...)..

So now again.. to fill in void in my life.. which gets created after I being ported/deported to onsite.. well was it my decision... ? Don't know.. people back home are commenting... on my lustfulness... or my ignorance.. or if I say.. on my greediness .. of accepting this option.. while I had many better bright future aspects.. many good companies... a baggage full of bright future.. which one can only dream of... but I denied them one by one.. slowly after considering, reconsidering.. and again considering.. for many sleepless nights....

then after which I took a U turn.. which many of you.. will never acknowledge.. I will talk each one of it.. now and will provide my perspective to it...

The great marathon has started shortly before the navratra's, when after getting into a long tussle with my senior, I taken a vow to prove him and the other's that I still have the spark well within me.. then started the hard work to crack the technical interview.... Once I am over with the intiial dormant phase... I did fairly well... and cleared some top interviews... and bingoo.. by deewali.. I had 4 offers in hand... one among them was staying back and going to onsite... others.. one with 1 of the best to work for in Noida.. 1 at hyd... and 1 at Bangalore....

So starting with Noida, I get pissed of by the HR manager attitude at the interview day itself... the way they treated an employee.. and the kind of their mentality of not caring a person's emotions and the professionals values... I felt bad.. but I didn't give him any negative vibes...

They offered me the position.. and the perks... and had given me a week's time to join them after taking 13 days to offer... I again talked to them.. but again the HR is too bad... I thought of myself... Am I going to a company truly based on my skills.. or is it a charity?

I asked ppl over there about the work.. and what I got from them was really not encouraging.. it's the similar work which I am doing here and not enjoying ... then I thought of myself.. will I enjoy the same there? or Am i just going there because for most of us that is the dream company.. and people are saying.... go vikas go.... ? I don't know somehow I was not able to convience myself for the same.. ? Even the package was not so great... I comapred it with other things and I found that it's a 5 years gamble.. do I need it now.. or would like to give myself one more chance to try and see.. if I can do anything else.... ? I gave myself one more chance... but I was knowing that it will close 1 door for me in future... so be it......

I opted for Onsite... just because I wanted to see.. if I can provide some options to my family both financially and personally... If I can built a competency which will open doors in future.. I think it's not bad to be selfish once..in your life.. so this time I did exactly the same.. heard what I wanted for myself..... and take the chances.. I know some of you think this a my wildest mistake.. or some think that I have taken advantage of the situation... but it's always easy to comment on others ....

I know it's NOT THE POPULAR CHoice but I know it was important for me... if I succeed in it.. It has golden things in store for me.. but if not...

You say it best when you say nothing at All.. (A beautiful song...)

It's not written by me but it was damm romantic, that's why put it :)
================

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing.

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me where ever I fall
You say it best... when you say nothing at all.

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd (the crowd)
Try as I may, I could never define
What's been said between your heart and mine.

Oh...
The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know that you need me...

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never
leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me where
ever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all

विदाई..

दुनिया के आस्मन से खुशियाँ उठा के लाउंगा…
तुझें अपनी दुल्हन बना के में अब लें जाऊँगा…
सारे सितारें देंगें गवाही… जब होगी तेरी अब विदाई…
आँखों में आन्सो भी न आनें दूँगा…
तुझें इतना खुश रखुंगा इतना खुश रखूँगा…

Tere Sang....

तेरे संग रहन के यह जाना हैं...तेरे बिना जीना कितना बेमाना हैं...

पल.. पल... हर पल.. तेरा अब ख्याल,.. हैं..तेरे से मिलनें को न जानें क्यों यह दिल बेकरार हैं...

तेरे ख्यालों.. से अब खुद को घिरा महसूस करता हूँ.. और जान कर अपनें को दोसरों से तनहा किये रखता हूँ...

तेरी हर बात.. तेरे मासूम जज़्बात...तेरा वोह मासूम चेहरा.,.. नज़रून से दूर नहीं होता...

अब तुझ से जुदा रहनें को यह दिल.. मुल्ताज़ा नहीं होता,,
मेरा अकरामो.. में तू हैं.. मेरे हेर बात में तू है...
क्या तुझ को भी लगता हैं.. की मेरी हर सां में तू हैं ... :)

Silent whispers.....

Something is gradually decreasing.. something that makes me feel lively…
Something that can’t be described in words… they are my silent whispers…
My silent whispers which says I want to live with u forever..
My whispers that tells me I can’t love anyone now the way I loved u…
My whispers that still makes me sometime feel that somebody is mine…
My whispers that hurts me more than anything else in this world..
But I don’t now a days listens to my whispers… As I have a life time responsibility to complete..

The responsibility of a smooth transition of urs from my life…
The responsibility of making u believe that u can forget me…
The responsibility of filling your life full of happiness …
The responsibility of making u forget me like the Dry Rose…

I know it’s a huge responsibility… and I know there are so many other things that I missed in this..But you should be assured that I remember every tiny bits of everything…. And for that worth so many life things.. I know I can sail through it…

Dedicated to Mayank--Dear :)

तुझें मेनें संभाला हैं ... इस झूलें पर चलतें चलतें...
यूँहीं रहना मेरे साथ हमेशा तुम.... रहेंगें सदा हम हसतें हसतें...
तेरे साथ रहनें की तमना अब इस दिल में रोज आती हैं....
सांझ होतें ही तुझ से फ़िर जुदा होनें से बैचेनी बढ़ जाती हैं...
रात मुझे परेशान करती हैं.... सुबह मुझे हैरान करती हैं...
क्यों मुझे तड़पती हैं..... तू यूँहीं प्यार से डरतें डरतें....
यूँहीं रहना मेरे साथ हमेशा तुम.... रहेंगें सदा हम हसतें हसतें...

Swati going abroad...

A friend is leaving today to onsite...... A very dear friend of mine... I am happy for her as she is going abroad to pursue her dreams but I am worried for her... she is till date lived in a protective environment and is prone to mistakes... Life outside is a bed of roses which bound to have thrones attached to it... but still as I already had told her that be prepared , the first week will be very tough for her but it will teach you a lot... A lot which she always remember .. A lot which will change her perception about life... It will make her more mature and more admissible nd adaptable.

I hope this post will not act as a fuel for our next fight :)
Just few good lines for her... :

Life is different since I met you...
Office was never so much fun.. with out you...
Your small small things... your contrasting behavior...
our fights.... our understanding... our little sharing...
unstoppable advice... the chit chat things...
Our gossiping... all things just made office time so memorable..
I know its very small time that we spent together but ...
I will miss you for sure... Will miss you..
May God bless you... I wish you all the happiness of the world..
May you come back all smiling and all cheered up..
Take care !!!

Waiting to fight with you again... [:)]

न्यू इयर

Never do I say but I wish to say,
Every moment you stay in my mind,
What do I do to get rid of your thoughts?
You make me believe in my soul.
Every passing moment reminds me of you
All day, all night I think of you.
Riddle you are, I hopelessly try to solve.

pankhudi लगा के udana चाहता हूँ

"साँसों के साथ मन् की डोर पलकों के आगे सपनो की भोर

र्पंखोदी लगा के उड़ती उमंगें..क्या हैं यह मेरी जीनें की तरंगें

सान्सो में उठता हुआ अज्जीब सा धुनाओंखो

आँखों में उम्दात्ता हुआ अजब सा समुंदर

साँसौ में आता हुआ एक नया जीवन..चुप चाप बान्हूं में आता यह नया स्पंदन...

क्या ज़िन्दगी नें एक नई पहल की हैं..क्या aarzoo nein ली हैं एक नई अंगडाई...

क्यों मुस्करानें लगा हूँ में.. हर दूसरें पल...

पल पल क्यों आनें लगी हैं मुझें यह अजब से अन्गादयीं॥

सोचता हूँ में.. की ऐसा क्यों हो रहन हैं॥

जानन चाहता हूँ में.. ऐसा क्या हो रहन हैं॥

पर जो भी हुआ हैं.. जो भी हो रहन हैं॥

पता नहीं क्यों मुझें सब कुछ अपना सा लग रहन हैं...

यहीं वोह पल हैं जो में जीना चाहता हूँ... पंखोदी उदा के उड़ना चाहता हों..."

धुंधली यादें

ढून्ध्लें मौंसम सा धुंधला हैं मेरा यह दिल
बीतें ज़मानें की धुंधली यादों को समेटें हें हैं यह दिल
धुंधली यादों में एक धुंधली सी तस्वीर हैं तेरी...
पर जानें क्यों आज भी वोह मुझें लगती हैं मेरी...
ढून्ध्लातें समय के साथ धुंधला जाऊँगा में..
पर उस से पहले एक बार सूरज सा चमक जाऊँगा मैं...
याद आएगी तेरी हर ऐसी रात में.. और अपनें को ऐसे ही तनहा पाऊँगा मैं...
दिन बीतेंगें सदिया बीतेंगी.... मेरे पास की दुनिया बदलेगी...
मैं शायद संभल नहीं पाऊँगा मैं.. और खूद एक धुंधला सा एहसास बन के रहन जाऊँगा मैं...